Death Doula

I believe it's important to give space for celebrating the life that is still being lived even while dying is lingering in the room.

A death doula, also known as an end-of-life doula or death midwife, offers a range of services to provide emotional, practical, and spiritual support to individuals and their families as they navigate the end-of-life process.

It is my goal as a Death Doula to help create a peaceful, meaningful and supportive end-of-life experience for all involved in a manner that is alignment with their values and beliefs so that the dying journey is lived with dignity and grace.

This is achieved in a variety of ways:

Providing a compassionate presence and listening ear to assist with emotional processing and coping with grief and fear.
Facilitating conversations about end-of-life wishes and values to create meaningful end-of-life ceremonies and rituals.
Providing information about the dying process, including physical, emotional, and spiritual aspects.
Offering guidance on available resources, hospice care, and palliative care and collaborating with healthcare professionals and family to ensure the plan is followed.
Facilitating communication and conflict resolution within families and providing family members with tools to cope with their own grief and stress.
Being present with the dying person during the final hours or days to create a peaceful and comfortable environment, including integrating complementary therapies like reiki, guided imagery, or meditation for comfort and pain relief.
Assisting the individual in sharing their life story and wisdom with loved ones in ways that are meaningful to them, such as creating memory books, photo albums, or writing stories or letters.
Offering guidance on options like home funerals, green burials, or cremations.
Providing after-death support to family members to connect them with grief support groups and resources.
Providing respite for caregivers to encourage and support them in their self-care.

The services provided by a death doula can vary based on the individual doula's training and expertise. They play a crucial role in helping individuals and their families navigate the challenging and emotionally charged journey of end-of-life care and the dying process with compassion and support.

Legacy

Legacy work at end of life is a means of providing an opportunity for the dying person to share their stories, wisdoms, and talents in a manner that allows a lasting impression for loved ones to carry on their memory and honor the contributions they have made in their life.

Legacy work can include such things as:

often starts with end-of-life planning, which involves creating wills, living wills, and designating power of attorney. This ensures that an individual's assets and healthcare preferences are managed in accordance with their wishes.
decisions about how an individual's wealth and assets will be distributed to heirs or charitable organizations. It can include setting up trusts, creating foundations, or designating beneficiaries to ensure that one's financial legacy aligns with their values. Some individuals focus on environmental or social issues, working to leave a positive impact by supporting causes related to conservation, social justice, or humanitarian efforts.
documenting their personal history, experiences, and family stories. This can take the form of writing autobiographies, recording oral histories, or creating family archives.
sharing their knowledge and skills with others. This can include mentoring, teaching, or training the next generation in their field of expertise.
Many artists, writers, and intellectuals strive to create lasting works of art, literature, or scholarship that will outlive them and contribute to the cultural and intellectual heritage.
Passing on ethical and moral values is an essential aspect of legacy work. This can be done through conversations with family and loved ones or by participating in community and religious organizations that promote these values.
Creating opportunities for meaningful conversations with loved ones by being present for family and friends, resolving conflicts, and leaving a positive imprint on the lives of those one cares about.

Legacy work is deeply personal and can vary greatly from one individual to another. It's about ensuring that one's values, experiences, and contributions continue to have an impact and endure in some form even after they have passed away. It's a way of leaving a meaningful and lasting mark on the world.

Care at Home / Caregiver Relief

In most cases someone who is dying would likely say they would very much like to die at home in the comfort of their own bed and familiar surroundings. Loved ones will often stretch themselves as far as possible to honor the dying persons wishes and do whatever it takes to give them the kind of lived experience they desire until they die. The choice to do this comes from love. The practicalities of the day to day walk through dying is not so easy, especially as time wears on and there are so many smaller details of things that have to be changed, managed, adapted or set aside in order to fully show up for the dying journey. It can be exhausting physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually.

Inviting the support of a Death Doula to walk beside all of you throughout the day to day practical tasks as well as providing knowledge, comfort and support as you engage in those difficult yet much valued conversations will go a long way towards making the dying experience one that can be remembered as loving and meaningful rather than a blur of stress and exhaustion.

Vigil

Not everyone is comfortable with the moment of death. A Death Doula's presence in keeping vigil can help to ensure that the right balance of comfort and support is available for all involved so that the death itself is experienced as a dignified one. Keeping vigil is about being present for the dying person and their loved ones so that there is always a calming and reassuring presence, helping to maintain a comfortable and peaceful atmosphere, and assisting the dying person in a manner that ensures they are made as comfortable as possible. Some loved ones feel very ill-at-ease with the idea of being with someone at the moment of death but do not wish their loved one to be alone. In this case, it can be a huge comfort to know someone is there to provide a caring presence and will continue to be there to offer support as loved ones say their goodbyes.

Celebration of Life / Funeral Services

However you choose to honor your loved one, whether it is by holding a Celebration of Life service or a more traditional funeral or memorial service, I can assist you in creating a service that will help you honor your loved ones life. You choose the location and style of service and I will help guide you through the details.

Grief and Bereavement Support

This type of support helps individuals to process their emotions and feelings related to the loss, cope with their grief, and move forward in a healthy and meaningful way. While most people do receive support and understanding from others around them, grieving can feel lonely because there are thoughts and feelings that you may not feel comfortable admitting to and you may have difficulty understanding what is happening to you. Intense emotions can be very difficult to navigate especially when you are afraid of upsetting others around you.

When you are grieving, there is a need for safe space and practical guidance to help you see your way through to being able to live your normal life. It is not uncommon that long-term effects of grief can continue to impact an individual for months or even years after the loss. Receiving support during this time can help individuals develop healthy coping mechanisms and reduce the risk of having their life seemingly fall apart.